I guess The Postman does indeed always ring twice, for you see, he just rang again. Only this time, unlike back in 1997 when he was played by a beach bummy Kevin Costner, he’s arrived in the form of a sand-blasted Denzel Washington, and he’s not come to deliver overdue mail to the post-apocalyptic West Coast, but to preach the Good Book.

In The Book of Eli, directors Albert and Allen Hughes (the fraternal team behind Menace II Society) have given us that rarest of modern science fiction films: an overtly Christian story. Yes, it borrows heavily from its own and other genres. There’s a healthy dose of the spaghetti western, more than a little Zatoichi, and all the expected lifts from The Road Warrior in its mix. But, make no mistake, The Book of Eli is, above all, a religious movie. It’s not spiritual, in the much derided politically correct sense, or, really, in any other sense. It doesn’t celebrate generic nature worship or benevolent elemental deities. No, it’s about the Bible, and its narrative follows a venerable Old Testament path. Trial by fire.

Now, before you get excited, this flick is manifestly not an example of smart religion. The Book of Eli doesn’t delve into the nature of faith, the problem of pain, the presence of evil in the world, or the myriad controversies with which present-day churches must daily wrestle. It exhibits more of what I’d call an angry choir boy’s “Take that you nasty sinners” approach. Prophet Eli kills and kills and kills and kills—all in the name of the quest—all in His name.

It’s thirty years after the “Flash,” a massive rupture in the Earth’s atmosphere caused by a global war. The Flash allowed the sun’s rays to incinerate most of our planet’s surface, killing virtually everyone and blinding most of the survivors. Eli (Denzel Washington) is moving west across this scorchscape on an (apparently) divinely commissioned pilgrimage to bring his precious copy of the King James Bible to a place of safety. On the way, he is hindered by monomaniacal town boss Carnegie (a drapery-chomping Gary Oldman), who has his own bizarre, pseudo-rational obsession with the Bible, and helped by passionate serving girl Solara (cat-eyed Mila Kunis), who sees in Eli a means of escape from the desert hell hole she is trapped in.

Some other stuff happens, most, if not all, of it irrelevant. And yeah, like you’ve already heard, there’s a big twist at the end, a “gee whiz” moment that can be retro-justified if you recall certain tells throughout, and if you’re a pretty forgiving viewer. A better movie would warrant a detailed analysis of the violations of internal logic committed by the auteurs. There’s no need for that here. I don’t have the room or the inclination. Better, I think, to focus on the few things that work.

Ray Stevenson, a craggy screen tough best known for his terrific work as a two-fisted legionnaire in HBO’s Rome, has a memorable turn as Redridge, the town’s second-in-command. The man’s got serious presence and solid acting chops. Michael Gambon, Malcolm McDowell, Tom Waits (yes, Tom Waits), and particularly Jennifer Beals also shine in brief roles.

There are some nice touches, such as when we get a glimpse of who Eli was before the Flash, or the kick-ass gunfight in the town square, or when Eli shows Solara how to pray. But none of that is nearly enough to offset the unpleasant taste this film leaves in your mouth, the feeling that a story that should have been inspired (dare I say holy?) has been rendered brutal and crass. Were I a church-going sort, I reckon I might even be a little offended. God told Eli to do this? This? Watching Eli gut and dismember his adversaries makes a viewer wonder if perhaps the post-Flash survivors who destroyed the world’s holy books because they believed religion had caused their desolation were actually on to something.

Denzel Washington invests Eli with an unwavering simplicity, a dignity, yet also with humanity, though that humanity is revealed not in mercy or love or desire (all of which we are to presume have been burned out of him by the sun), but in ego—a grim bravado that is almost a weakness; almost a flaw. It is this layered portrayal by Washington that elevates The Book of Eli above schlock. It doesn’t save the film. Nothing short of a new director and screen writer could do that. But it makes the two hours bearable.

The Book of Eli
Alcon Entertainment
U.S. Release Date: January 15, 2010
Directors: Albert and Allen Hughes
Screen writer: Gary Whitta
Running Time: 118 minutes